Ms Collegians' 2003

Miss College 2003 - The Night

  The “Ms College” Pageant graced the clubrooms again on 30 August. The 2003 contestants were Andre Brummer, Bren Sinnott, Dean Bradley, Joel Fudali, Julian Auble, Paul Horne, Scott Andrews, Shane Clark and Tim Williams. Graham Raymond was MC, and the judges were Meara Curran, Tiana Hume and Ben Suttell (in drag, of course). The “ladies” excelled themselves this year, taking the whole process much more seriously than is healthy. As usual, there was a ridiculous commitment to the removal of body hair.

  Andre shaved most of his body (for some reason omitting his forearms), Joel preferred to wax, and Tim relied on hair removal mousse. Paul Horne acquired a professional drag queen to help with his hair and makeup (with truly terrifying results) and Tim and Dean spent some anxious minutes before the show convincing Kim that she had to rebuild the stage to give them a long enough catwalk for their routines. 

 The first category was work/sports, and we were treated to a parade of two aerobic instructors, a hula dancer, a ballerina, a school mistress, a netballer, a prostitute, a cheerleader and a Bo-Peep style shepherdess. Dean Bradley won this category hands down, as a very long legged and slightly slutty netballer. The second category was evening dress, and was a very close competition across all the contestants. Special mention should be made of Shane Clark in his slinky black mini. 

  The “personality” category was won hands down by Joel. Graham asked him what he’d do if he could have 3 wishes. Joel’s first wish was to take Graham home with him (of course). His second wish was “world peace”. At this point we should note that Nick Malone had been excitedly jumping up and down in his seat all night shouting “show us your tits”. Joel’s third wish, and indeed the wish of many of us, was to have Nick Malone removed from the building. 
  The lingerie category was, as always, “stunning”. Shane Clark, for example, looked like a potential winner right up until we saw him in his green bikini. The hairy stomach may have been the problem. Tim Williams eclipsed competition in this category in his full bridal corset, stockings and veil (courtesy of Liz of the Frocs). 
  He scored 29 out of a possible total of 30 on this category (getting the only two "10s" awarded in the competition). 

  Ultimately, Timmy won by the narrowest of margins. Dean Bradley was runner up and also won “Ms Popularity” on the crowd vote. Third place went to Joel Fudali, who many felt had been robbed. The top four or five contestants were separated by a mere handful of points. 

  Photos and video will be around the club from time to time for your viewing pleasure(?). 

  Ian Walker won the Calcutta, taking away $340 for his mere investment of $22 for “buying” Tim Williams. 

  After it was all over, the lads romped about in women’s underwear for a good deal longer than necessary, relentlessly singing the club song over and over and over again. (That’ll scare the other clubs off). It was outrageously good fun for everyone involved. It was certainly party-time downstairs – the lads merrily drank their way through something in the range of 30 jugs, as well as a carton of long necks. However, anxious to preserve the condition of their make up, they did concede to drink through straws. 

  Special mention goes to the Frocs (can’t name all of them, you know who they are) who helped cook and serve the meal, set up, clean up, make up, and dress up. They collected money, they moved furniture, and most importantly - they fetched beer. Thanks also to the friends and girlfriends who helped coach the “ladies” throughout the night, and to Kristie Hume for the great photos (some of which are shown here). 

  As a closing note – we are lead to understand that Miss Burnside was held on the same night, and that Miss Onkaparinga was only recently crowned (shudder). Could it be that what this state needs is a Miss SARU?! 

... Tregenza Times September 2003

The judges.  Note carefully that last year's runner-up, Ben Suttell is dressed as a woman. 

Start of the makeup process

  
Downstairs

  
The day-wear category - Andre, Bren, Dean, Joel, Scott, Shane, Tim 

 
The evening-wear category - Bren, Dean, Joel, Julian, Paul, Shane, Andre

 
The swim-wear/lingerie category - Dean, Shane, Tim

Beer & celebrations upstairs

 
Tim & Dean - after the presentation of the winners

  On the night of Ms College, we were fortunate again to rely on the generosity of Dawn and Don Wilson who donated a lamb for the spit. Our thanks go to the Wilson family for their constant support of the club. For those who were not there for the home game, you will have missed the grand spectacle of the lamb violently ablaze, melting the roof of the balcony and billowing great clouds of smoke across the ground. It had to be put out with a fire extinguisher.   

  Fortunately, our resident fireman, Andy Dalton, was around and assured us the fire extinguisher would not damage/poison the meat. So, the soggy, blackened lamb was returned to the spit, and cooking was completed with no more dramas. It was, despite the ordeal, a great meal once finished. Thanks go to the Wilsons, to the Frocs for salads and serving, to Ray Butler for slicing and dicing, to Stewart for organising the spit, and to Muzza for the fire! 

  Special thanks from the contestants for the beer, kindly provided by Kim Evans until she ran out of money, and to those who just as kindly put in their cash afterwards.

  "I have recounted the following anecdote a couple of times since Saturday night.  Last year after the final contestant stepped off the stage, I had a quick word with the judges and the MC, and then went back downstairs, only to find they'd all changed back into their ordinary clothes already!  I couldn't convince them to go to the effort of dressing back up for the presentation. The year before, they did the same - but they at least eventually allowed themselves to be persuaded back into their evening wear for presentations and group photos. This year, having learned my lesson, I rushed downstairs as soon as I could to urge you all to stay in your lingerie, only to find that NONE of you had the slightest intention of getting changed. On the contrary, even wigs and shoes remained on as you danced about with each other, comparing outfits (and stories), demanding that your photos be taken and relentlessly singing the club song over and over again. The best year yet." ... Kim Evans

Miss College 2003  

Information for Participants 

1.             Your MC will be Graham Raymond.

2.             The Judges will be Tiana Hume, Mira Curran and Ben Suttell.  No threatening or bribing the judges!

3.             Please be ready by 9pm sharp.  You will be changing downstairs in the changerooms.  Yes, there will be beer.  Yes, there will be people to help you.

4.             There are three categories

·         Workwear/sportswear

·         Evening dress

·         Swimwear/lingerie

5.             You will receive a score out of 10 for each category from each judge.  The MC will chat with you while you are in Evening Dress and you will get another score out of 10 from each judge for your ‘personality’. 

6.             The winner and the runner up are the ones with the highest and second highest total (out of 120).  They win $100 and $50 respectively, as well as various gifts. There will also be a special award of “Miss Popularity” which is decided on a crowd vote. 

Last year's runner up and now a judge in 2003 - Miss Ben Suttell

Batting Order

6.00pm - 8.00pm Announcements, dinner and happy hour. 

8.00pm             MC starts the evening, introduces the judges and announces the program.

8.30pm             The Calcutta.  MC auctions off the competitors.  Audience members bid for who they think will win.  The person who “buys” whoever is crowned Ms College at the end of the night gets half the total proceeds.  (Last year Tiana Hume won more than $200). 

9.00pm             Round 1 – Sportswear or Workwear.

9.30pm             Round 2 – Evening Wear and “chatting” with the MC”.

10.00pm            Round 3 – Swimwear/lingerie.

10.30pm            Votes taken for “Miss Popularity”, and judges tally scores.

10.45pm            Winner and runner up  crowned.